THE BLOG
Where you are is exactly where God wants you
by: Haley Tyler
3 years ago I sent an email to 5 close close friends asking intentionally for prayer in two categories (desires) I had. Honestly at the time I figured, why not invite people more deeply into my story because later down the road I thought it would be awesome to say “remember that one email”. I think deep down I knew God knew the plans and had a plan, just needed some prayer friends around me to petition with me for those things .
A house , and a husband . Those were the two h’s I embarrassingly emailed about. I knew my time living with room mates was coming to a close and deeply desired a lifelong companion, so we prayed . Three weeks later my close friends bought a house and randomly asked if I’d want to live in a 400sq/ft studio they’d build. God knew! .. this house prayer gave me hope that God had plans and the second h was only a matter of time .
Since then, My husband and I have lived most of our relationship with the mindset in this house that what we do with what we have now will shape what we do with what we have later . Why wait for the bigger ____ when you’ve been given something so sweet now that God wants to use RIGHT NOW ? There’s some reason you have that right now, right ?
Ever since our 400 sq/ft gift of a house plopped in our laps we’ve accepted the challenge of doing the most with it rather than waiting for the mansion that somehow every instagram influencer has money to construct every 5 seconds (lol???)
I imagine talking about this house 30 years down the road, wishing we could go back to the squished couch game nights, storing our pots and pans in the oven (and forgetting to take them out when we pre heat the oven ha), hang drying wetsuits anywhere possible, plopping out of the bed into the kitchen in record timing because they are so close .. but more Importantly making much of little. I can’t wait to keep doing that. And I’m so grateful for my house.
What is it in your life or in ministry that God has called you to? Who are the few that He is asking that you faithfully send the text vs. wait for the stage to make impact?
The Honor of Serving in Ministry
by: Phoebe Morris
To have a front row seat.
Watching high schoolers fall deeply in love with the stars and the ocean and the mountains and the flowers.
Watching freshmen lead upperclassmen in their faith.
Watching seniors pass the baton but not quit early.
Watching students open up slowly about what’s hard.
Watching high schoolers watch leaders. And start mirroring friendships after the ones they see.
Watching leaders use their gifts in unique discipleship.
Watching the razor edge of eternity shift ever so slightly towards life with God in one student’s heart.
Watching the outsider be brought inside.
Watching the new insider step back outside to bring another one in.To pastor through the mess.
I haven’t led students in worship since I was a student.
I get frustrated and impatient when we’re lagging behind schedule.
I am learning daily what it means to lay my life down. And failing at it all the time.
14-18 year old girls mean friendship mess. I’m here for it. To see it through.
Mess. That’s what fudgey love is all about. God is doing more through the cracks of my weaknesses than I could ever do in my moments of mustered up strength. What a relief. Still learning this every day.To lead ministry alongside friends.
Ashleigh: holding on tight to this one. Stepping into friendship with her is entering into a freedom of being known.
Lindsey: I laugh so hard with her. Probably because she sits with me in my introspection as I spin my wheels and patiently waits until I’m ready to live with lightness again.
Eliana: our chef and nurse who selflessly served so humbly. God has used her to heal bodies and souls. So very gentle.
Holly: peace and confidence surround her because God dwells deep within her heart. She chases after girls and has vision for the long haul.
Amberly: life is goofy and simple with her. She presented the gospel to our girls through her testimony. God has taken hold of her life and she’s bringing others along.
Being Anxious as a Ministry Leader
by Jessica Murietta
“I have a God of peace and not a God of chaos. I have a God of peace and not a God of chaos,” I’ve repeated these words thousands of times over the last 7 years. Anxiety and depression were never things I thought God would have play such a pivotal role in my life, but they have. Growing up I never cared too much about my performance in school or sports or extracurricular activities. I just wanted to have fun and enjoy life. It wasn’t until I had been working in my current job for a few years that I started experiencing deep anxiety about my performance, my looks, my abilities as an employee and a friend. One of the questions I always ask my students when I talk to them about anxiety or the pressure they feel to perform is, “has someone explicitly put that pressure on you or is this your own internal pressure you’ve placed on yourself?” and to be completely honest, my anxiety has been a mix of both. I had people in my life put this external pressure on me to be better, do better, and work harder, but I also had the enemy whispering lies in my ear. Lies that I believed and caused my mind to spiral.
Leading in those moments of deep anxiety and depression were hard. I was a bad leader because of my fear and insecurity. I’ve had to apologize to certain people for not leading them well, for not standing up or edifying them because of my own insecurity, and I’ve had to apologize to some people for not being kind to them. I spent countless nights in tears, crying out to God and asking Him to heal my heart and my mind. I needed a work to be done in my life that only He could do. So, I set out on a journey of healing that, to be completely honest, I’m still on. I still experience anxiety and depression, but it doesn’t have the same hold on my life that it once did. I know so many others in ministry are struggling with these same things, so I want to share some of the practical things I did:
-I spent time in prayer, scripture & worship | One of the simplest ways to combat anxiety is to worship. I had scripture memorized that I would recite over myself. I had a voice recording of my dad reading a passage of scripture that has been meaningful to me in the midst of my anxiety and a written prayer from my boyfriend, now husband. I chose to combat the lies with the Truth that God spoke over me long before I was even born. I was reminded that I am commanded to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9) even in the midst of the really scary times because God has given me a spirit of power and love and self-control (1 Timothy 1).
-I went to therapy | I met with people who knew what was physiologically going on with my body and taught me tools that helped me in the moments of feeling completely overwhelmed. Tools that I still use and tools I teach my students when they are walking through anxiety.
-I included people in on my journey | I had a list of about 5 people that when I felt anxious or was in the midst of an anxiety attack that I would reach out to. These people were the ones praying for and fighting with me in the hard moments, they cried with me and carried me. This was probably the most vulnerable thing I did and I felt exposed, but I also felt loved and carried by the Body of Christ (John 13:35).
-I rested and enjoyed | Sabbath is SO countercultural today. There are plenty of books and podcasts so I won't go into depth on this one. God has designed & commanded for us to Sabbath (Genesis 2 & Exodus 20). Through practicing the Sabbath I have come to truly believe that God designed it for my good (Mark 2) and that my soul finds rest in God alone (Psalm 62). Because so much of my anxiety has been rooted in performance, the act of stopping has been really good for my soul and mind. When we Sabbath we are met with our limitations and are welcomed with open arms by a God who is limitless.
I want to say to anyone walking through anxiety or depression right now, especially those of you in ministry, I am so sorry. I get it. It’s hard. These things were not part of God’s good plan for us. Nothing I say can take away the weight that is felt mentally and emotionally. The things I did might not help you, but what I do know to be true is that you were not created to do this life alone - let others in and allow them to help carry this burden (Galatians 6:2). My blessing for those of you who are walking this road is this:
“May our Good Father remind you that He has generously given you a spirit of power, love and self-control (1 Timothy 1). May you confidently know and believe that you are precious, honored, and loved in the eyes of our God (Isaiah 43). I pray that when the enemy whispers lies to you that the truth of Scripture is louder and brings peace to your heart and mind”
Grace and Peace.